His hand through it all.

As I read and re-read the pages of my journal. The verses, the prayers, the cries for hope and rest, I see God’s hand through it all. It is an emotional journey to look back in hindsight and see that at just the right time, in the darkest, lowest moments, I was writing down profound thoughts and prayers. Little did I know that at the same time my prayers and cries were being answered. God had placed in my heart the need for me to prayer for the people in my life. I prayed for healing for close friends and family members who were suffering physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I prayed for peace, calm and hope in their lives. Did I not think to pray these things over myself? There I was in a self-proclaimed ‘prison’ of despair and depression, hurting and aching to be free and yet my thoughts and prayers were turned to others and the burdens they were struggling with. I can confidently say without a doubt, these thoughts were not easily given up. As many know, depression is a self-absorbed disease; it often leads the depressed to focus inwardly on their own needs as they strive to free themselves from the pain. How is it possible then that I not only thought these things, but prayed them and then completely forgot about it until now? Where did this desire to pray and care for others come from? Answer: The Lord God who reigns! Get this: God, my Redeemer, not only gave me the desire and momentary strength to pray for the people in my life, but He also answered my prayers. Healing, peace and calm washed over those people I had prayed for and they were, in turn, not only able to, but emotionally and spiritually strong enough to uplift, encourage and carry me throughout my pain. How incredible is my God?